thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
