Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
