I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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