If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
