Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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