Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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