Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
