I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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