Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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