Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
