i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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