Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize