every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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