whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
