I haven't been this sober since birth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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