i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
