I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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