I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
