ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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