New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
