3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
