What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
