he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
