My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just gargled with NyQuil
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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