DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
