He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
