is your mom at the bar?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
