One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize