people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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