Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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