what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I need a beard to bite.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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