Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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