With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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