Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
