Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
