She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
