i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
