Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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