i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
