I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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