Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
