Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
