When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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