I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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