this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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