remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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