Don't you send me to vm
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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