the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
