Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
