You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
