I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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