I showed him my bush... on skype.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
