OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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