just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
