Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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