I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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