hell yes lets make some ravioli
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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