That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm really busy with my period
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