we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
